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June 22, 2002
Draft #4
to tell the truth, Mrs. Ebolathon:
i realize now that i was, after a fashion, interested in your family. i must refute the allegation that i was only around to "take what i could get." it's completely unfair, not to mention silly, to use one little gunpowder burn to erase years of good mutual masturbation. and i do hope you're being careful not to confuse our little tuesday "arrangement" with the larger issues.
(speaking of which: i would prefer it if from now on, while we are engaged in sexual activities of any kind, you not refer to my classwork, or in any other way, to our relationship inside the classroom. i know, i'm sorry to have to say this. i realize, by your muscular contractions, that you greatly enjoy a critiquing my work during these moments of passion, but i must say that i find it greatly distracting. especially last tuesday. i mean, really, as if overhead projectors aren't intimidating enough.)
anyway, getting back to our topic. (do you like the way i am separating thoughts into their own paragraphs? that's right, i know how you like it. yeah.) right, whether or not i display "profound symptomatology indicating sociopathy." i must say, mrs. E -- this sounds suspiciously like one of those strings of words that you practice for those moments when you're right on the edge. like the ping-pong paddle with the thumbtacks glued to it. you're really sick, you know? and i thought i had seen it all with the Trembling Ben-wa.
but anyway, as i was saying: just because i had sex with all three of your daughters does not, in any way -- must not be seen as a show of selfishness, but more as a show of great respect. it is to your geneology that i now offer my most humble thanks. it is to your family tree that i bow. i stand, naked and erect, in the valley of your humble pie, pissing into the wind of chance, spraying down the wings of love with a fine, lemony, banquet of vitamin B.
Sincerely, Much Adieu, Etc,
the Young Man in the First row
SUPERMILK is an expert Squeezer of Lemon, Thumber of Nose, and Navigator of Moronity. His mark can be found on the Bedpan of Hammurabi, the forehead of Dagonet, and the office stationery of Jorge Bourgoise. Additionally, he braised this tender piece of monkeymeat at 4:26 PM
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