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June 17, 2002
Role Model #129
so there i was, and the kid wanted to wrestle me. i mean, i'm like 19, and he's like twelve. i mean, what the hell was he thinking?
so i gave the baby back to his mother. it was getting hard to hold him anyway, what with the recent injection of morphine. he's got a beautiful ass i told her. she grinned at me mischievously. she's into that baby porn stuff. i don't know. i don't find it very appealing. all that apple sauce and Desitin. just ain't my thing.
so i turned to the kid -- who was just beginning to charge me -- and said, in a very sincere voice -- look, i'll give you a headstart because of the funny shape of your genitalia and he stopped, suddenly, with a puzzled look on his face. of course, it was just a ploy to distract him -- he's got a wonderfully formed penis, and we all knew it -- and by the time he figured that out, i was merrily swinging the chair into his soft, pink face.
of course, i lost the wrestling match. no one there would back me up that chairs are a valid tool in the wrestling world. you'd think that losing seven teeth would get in the way of whining. sheesh.
SUPERMILK is an expert Squeezer of Lemon, Thumber of Nose, and Navigator of Moronity. His mark can be found on the Bedpan of Hammurabi, the forehead of Dagonet, and the office stationery of Jorge Bourgoise. Additionally, he braised this tender piece of monkeymeat at 2:13 PM
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