SUPERMILK: April 2005 Archives

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April 14, 2005

iBeg to differ.

I find it absolutely shameless...or shameful...whatever, i find it disgusting that some lowlife has stopped low enough to do absolutely vile and low stuff, like leak the President's iPod playlist to the liberal media! This act of audio-terrorist psy-ops cannot go unpunished. If one of those cursed sandrats figures out what our President listens to, he may possibly be able to predict what sort of beat President Bush shakes his muscular Texan hip to, he may, from there, be able to step inside the pscyhological locus of He-Who-Is-Bush, thereby predicting our every move and threatening the very future of our American Way.

think about it.

This is exactly why the public has been given the "cover" playlist, containing such safe, American hits as "Centerfield" by John Fogerty (singer of "Fortunate Son"), and "My Sharona," by The Knack (singers of "Good Girls Don't").

But would the White House really give up the key to that shrewd and infathomable mind so easily? Or were we led to believe what we were to keep us calm? What is the actual playlist on George W. Bush's iPod? Let me give you the lowdown:

Hegemony for Dummies on Mp3
Windows Startup Chime by Microsoft
Boston Cat Dying on Very Cold Morning by Björk
Anything by Warlords
Learn English in Six Easy Cassettes!
18 and life by Skid Row
Grimgerde by Wagner
Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi
Killing An Arab by The Cure
Jonas Silverman reads "My First Summer at the Bathhouse"

And many other very rocking tracks. So let's just get that straight. You think you know everything, but if that were true, you'd have your life in order, now wouldn't you?

Lots of glove, and a rough, hurried, condescending pity-handjob,

Joey

SUPERMILK is an expert Squeezer of Lemon, Thumber of Nose, and Navigator of Moronity. His mark can be found on the Bedpan of Hammurabi, the forehead of Dagonet, and the office stationery of Jorge Bourgoise. Additionally, he approved this boatload of kielbasa for export at 12:45 AM| (0)

April 13, 2005

Read the Leaves

i've been drinking pregnancy tea for a month now, and you know, i think it is finally starting to work.

April 12, 2005

Lorem Diddly Ipsum

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April 11, 2005

My Love Knows No Limits.

if you were a dog, i'd lick the foam from your rabid mouth; i'd sniff your ass until my fur radiated with the scent of you. if you were an ugly raisin, i'd throw the rest of the box out so you could be the most beautiful raisin in the room. if you were a moldy sneaker insert, i'd lick the fuzz from your cold, wet surface with a smile on my face. that's how much i love you.

if you were george bush, i'd stroke your troubled monkey brow and make sweet chirping sounds whilst picking bugs from your matted back. if you were a jellyfish, i'd let you slide your acidic tentacles up my ass until you stung me so bad i was wound tighter than a banjo string and hiccuping electricity. if you were a bag of soot i'd suck you so deep into my lungs that i'd vomit and die immediately. if you were a robin's egg, i'd suck you into my gut with the velocity of a train. if you were a herpes blister, i'd pop you between my teeth and let you ooze all over my shining lips. if you were a dungheap, i'd sneak you into my tent and light you on fire. if you were a maggot, i'd slide you under my eyelid. that's how much i love you.