escaping the frame: A Day in the Life Archives

December 19, 2005

Two Years of Joyful Swervitude (114 of 283)

I THINK MY PLAN WILL BE to get the chapters firmed (as early and as much as possible), meaning the book will be edited and jigged and jagged into place for little while, but I do hope to know what illustration I am doing for each chapter...which will depend on what the chapter is about. Thus, my desire to know sooner than later what the chapters are.

Actually, this won't be an issue. I keep thinking that the book must be rushed out, but I just remembered that I had a conversation with the publishing director today who gave me a feel for the schedule of the books. Looks like the first three of the fiction series will pub in late 2007, so I'm not sure exactly when that means I'll have to be finished, but even though it's not really a ton of time, it spaces out the non-fiction much more realistically. And gives me a nice definite time for the other ones. Two years. That gives me two years to write and illustrate three of these 200pp+ books. What a journey this will be! Talking about spending a long time "in character." How exciting! I feel like Bilbo packing seed-loaves into his knapsack, as he prepares for the road.

An exciting part of this is that this really means I can go back and add to the first book, even while I finish the third. Which insures a lot of continuity and accurate foreshadowing and a super strong connection between the three installments. And then by the fourth, I'll know the characters and stories and settings so well, I won't need to go back and touch up anything. It will be well set down and in motion, by then.

Although it sort of hurts to think of them not seeing daylight for so very long. Who knows, though. What little bit I know about publishing has taught me that these things can change from month to month. But Karen was speaking of having reliable deadlines, so perhaps these will hold. Time will tell.

I The first non-fiction book Horris' Scary Guide to Ancient Egypt will be published Nov of 2006. So I will get to work on that soon. But this does ease things up a tiny bit, and I'm happy about that. The more I think about it, the happier I am. The publisher is an ambitious man, and I get carried away sometimes in ideafests right along with him. This can happen easily. I tend to aim high when I estimate what I can produce. I mean, I can write consisently, and I think I can put out a fair amount of material. I hope going back, even, in this journal, will back that up. But I aim even higher than I can meet, sometimes. And that's good; it's good to reach high, I feel. But the more I think about her reshuffling of the dates, the more I am relieved. It would make me so much happier to do these books right, and by right I mean to to really saturate them with attention. Perhaps I could bang them out quicker, but I do believe in putting down your mark thoughtfully and deliberately and artfully, if you put it down at all. Books have too long a (snortle) shelf-life to rush. And often, it is the little embellishments and details you draw in at the end, on the 111th pass that really bring out the shape of your imagined reality successfully. I am very relieved to have more time. I suddenly realize I was just putting the best face on a horribly tight (perhaps impossible) schedule.

Especially because art is different than writing in a few ways. Sometimes an image will get stuck coming through the door from your mind to your paper, and no matter how many times you erase (and you have a finite amount of times you can try again, here, on actual paper), you can't get it right. Feeling pressured in those moments has not proven conducive to my being productive in those types of situations. Actually, to be honest, while that is true, the same is true for writing. Sometimes it really closes you down to be too pressed for time. But mostly, it all comes down to that choatic sapphire molecule of delight and unpredictability, the will 'o the muse. I can't complain. I rarely, if ever feel dry. I have no methodology, as Piers Anthony does (using his "block" itself to further the narrative, thus eliminating the concept of a "block"), I just always seem to have something bubbling from my noggin (what a yummy image!).

IN addition to the one-per-chapter full page spreads I wanted to do, I also wanted to make illustrations on the computer for each large dropcap at the start of each chapter. And that is another 29 illos or so. Granted, they won't be as intricate as the full-page illo for each chapter. And they will be shrunk down a lot. But it's still a lot of illustration. Now you begin to see how perhaps I bite off more than I can chew once in a while. But I must say, most of the time, I make it, and am quite proud of my results. So I doubt I'll stop driving myself so hard now. It's joy, is what it is. This is what makes me happy to do. And trying harder only makes me happier. (To a point!)

Anyway, looks like I have the next couple years work cut out for me. And I look forward to all of it. I sure hope I can find time in there to finish my album, and to develop my weaponhead character. Although I wonder if he might not just show up on K'Nisqa.... Hmm.

As I edit this first novel (second book), I feel I am making three steps forward and two steps back. Which I literally am. Sometimes I move three pages forward in the manuscript, but write two pages onto its length. Right now I have edited up to page 114, and its length stands at 283. I guess overall, that is good. Yesterday I had edited up to page 80, and the book had 280 pages. So I moved forward 34 pages, and added three. That's fine, yeah. That's excellent. It was only yesterday, where I had to develop a part of the story, that got me a little worried. I had added a lot of pages.

Anyway, I am reaching that point where I feel so drained that I might float away. Began at 05:30 today, it is now almost 18:00. I look forward to tomorrow's work. Although I ended at a part where it is getting a little tricky. I think I have to strike a page and just rewrite a part entirely. As I reread (note to self "quartz/frontyard/scienceproject/mona/stairs"), I realize I don't like this little part at all. Won't work. Tear down, build back up. Just like those troublesome parts of an illustration.

You feel a moment of hesitation as you reach for the eraser. Can it stand? Does it really stick out? But you know, even as you think (but would never say aloud) "I hate to destroy something beautiful," that if you let it stand, it would haunt you. Even if nobody else noticed, you would see nothing else when you looked at the drawing. And if it were a written scene, you would think of nothing else, no matter who you met at the signing, or what kind of wine was served at the bookstore's next holiday party. The book might even be brilliant, but to you it would be the book that hid at its core, a hollow scene. There was a slip of the hand, sure, but you also turned your head. And we can be so very hard on ourselves, can't we?

The hesitation isn't long. You wipe it clean and do it again. And again, if you have to. You do it until you can't see that it's something you've made anymore. You rest once it convinces you that it is real, until the seam disappears.

Well, then. Here's to that. Until the seam disappears, Katy. And please remember to burn all my letters.

Your friend and confidant,

joaquín ramón herrera writes for children, adults, and other humans found elsewhere in the continuum of development. He is also an illustrator, musician, and surprise protagonist. If you have found his glasses, wallet, or keys, please contact him here.

(neuralpermalink established at 16:52)

December 2, 2005

Fried Eggs, Jalapeños, and Brain.

OKAY, SO MY SCHEDULE HAS BEEN completely manhandled by the fumbling mitts of Fate. Between traveling into Manhattan last night for the signing, and going into the city again this evening for a private party (for authors/illustrators/spouses/invisible parasites), and getting temporarily bogged down in some website stuff this morning, I'm just all out of whack, and my silver fuel cells have metabolized into oyster grease.

Went into the kitchen to get my cup of coffee, and saw that I somehow did not push the mug back far enough under the mug-dripper-inner and instead of a quick cup of coffee waiting for me to help buoy me up and into the writing, I had ten minutes of mopping and sponging a counter and rinsing and.... Heated up a pan, sizzled some butter in it. Sliced some jalapeños on the fly, cooked an egg with cheese melted. Toasted a whole wheat English Muffin (or was it Swedish?), slapped together a "meal," and came back in here. Trying to settle into the book, but find my mind is preoccupied with the oncoming evening engagement. That's my muse for ya. She is twice as difficult as I am, and that is saying a lot. If I do not devote a massive, wide-open space for her, she just pouts her lip and lights out for parts uncharted. She does not negotiate wiggle-room.

Tomorrow, then. Back on it. Early. Well...when I wake up, that is.

EDIT: I really, really, really, love those "Saturday Morning Revelations," as I call them. Remember when you would wake up on a Saturday morning, or a Summer Vacation's first day and think, immediately, Ugh....time for school.., only to realize you had no school that day? Man, that is the best.

I just got up and looked, forlornly, at the invitation and realized the party is not until Dec 5th! How sweet. How very, very sweet. Looks like I get to write after all!

Saturday morning, baby.

November 28, 2005

You Know Me. I'm a Denizen of the House of Five Trees

EXHAUSTED. I mean....wow. These days get longer and longer and I love it. I love working like this. On my own steam, up early, driving hard, rest when I need to. Began pretty early, don't know when. 0530? 0600? Just finishing up now. It's 1930. EXHAUSTED. Seriously, i feel sedated, I'm so wiped out. As soon as I printed out today's pages, I felt this exhaustion just flood me. I must have been keeping it at bay until I was done.

Wrote two chapters today. Which worked out to be 14 pages, I think. Went back through, too, added some things. Don't really even want to hint at what's being written. It's too much in flux, I"m juggling. Has to all fall in place just right. But not the first time, must remember that. I can move stuff around, if need be. But anyway. Trying to talk myself out of being obsessive in my drive to create the perfect work is just like trying to actually create the perfect work. Never gonna happen, but you can hardly help yourself from trying. Am I making sense anymore? I think not a bit.

Now I'm at the point where I get up as soon as my eyes open (before dawn), and push until I am no longer able to think, literally. Which is right about now. It feels good. Sometimes the only way to transcend yourself is to shove your comfort out the door, and yourself right outside of your boundaries. Put your dream in overdrive.

Herm bought me a foldy-box to keep the manuscript in. Bad boy is at 168 pages, just text.

Looking forward to what tomorrow brings.

November 26, 2005

A Big, Spiral Driveway Like the Skin of an Onion

Yeah, back in the groove. Now on page 141, and still moving strong. I plan to work tomorrow, of course. I'm pretty much on the 7 days a week mode, now. I love a deadline I can see coming, and that I can work toward, being affected by only myself and my own drive. I get such a thrill out of rising at 5:30 or 5:45 with my OH MY GOD I'M BACK ON COFFEE yeah...hopeless sinner, that's me. The bean stole me back! Argh!

But you know what happened? i got up and sat at the computer to work on morning, after being up a little late. I was off coffee for a couple days, right? And here, I'm trying to take off and do my usual thing...and nothing'! And it wasn't that I was uninspired. I had a lot of ideas for the story. I just felt like there I was, and, you know, getting ready to go, and you know. There I was! Sippin' on hot water with a touch o' honey! ...And yeah, okay, yes. Somehow missing that pre-dawn zoom of initial ignition. O, woe is I! Alas, I ride the spicy, cracked Java bean down the very river Styx!

But yeah, I said If it ain't broke, don't fix it! and figured I would get off the bean when I'm done with the rough draft of this manuscript, and the high-octane lift isn't needed as much. As I'm moving into the atomic level of That Which Drives Act III, I find such drastic moves are simply ill-advised!

O, DEVILISH Java! O, GEORDANES, PURVEYOR OF EVIL! O, Colombian Supremo! How good it is to be back in the loving carob citadel of your deliciously deep-roasted aroma.

November 25, 2005

Post Turkey Day

Don't think I'll do much writing today. I tried, but my brain is just mush from all the eating and merry-making last night in celebration of dead turkeys everywhere. I found it very annoying this morning, at 5:45, when I couldn't get the wheels turning. Felt alien, this non-productivity. I resented not having my muse sitting, waiting, when I called for her. Fine!

I did spend an hour or two this morning, sitting in the sun and sketching out Karl's latest sculpture. Intricate steel piece that works on two levels, depending how close you get to it. First sign of the road that leads to the rest of the quest.

Thought a bit more and made notes on the Four-book arc, which I fill in more and more as I think of it. Sketched and made notes on the location of a particularly important mountain-peak-which-is-a-valley-at-the-same-time. Spent some time thinking about the next chapter, but I think I'm just tired, because I couldn't really make my brain click in that direction for too long. Think I need to rest and take it easy, keep the thoughts simmering on the back burner.

These days, I'm thinking on the book all the time. Even when I'm watching movies or reading books. There is a part of my mind always working on the story. It interrupts every now and then when it figures something out. Shouts for a pen.

November 23, 2005

Blues, Blacks, and Purples. Moonlight on the Shelf.

Even longer day today. The closer I get to my deadline, the closer I get to the end of the book, the more I pour it on. It seems right. It's only reflective of the pace of the narrative. And if writing is being multiple actors, then making this book is like being in character for weeks straight. So my life is beginning to reflect the needs of my story. And how could it be any other way?

Seriously, though (that's the "I Absolve Me" of introductory phrases), We are into Act III, and rolling. I see it happening right on time, though I may beg my editor for a few extra days to edit and connect things on a capillary level. Sometimes it's that one or two moments of fine detail work that can elevate a work enough to make it memorable.

And now, I know how it will end. I have everyone's arc scripted at this point. And I won't give anything away, but I ended up liking Iago's character more than I expected. Which I like. I like characters to have depth. Well, except some, who are delightful as the archetypes they must be. I really enjoyed all of them. A few are less well-drawn than others, but it is all conscious. you don't want the entire psychological map of every single player, scrawled out and wrapping around every single plot point. That would be indiscriminate, distracting, and offensive.

I have only 60 pages more to go, to meet my page count. Today I wrote 18. I'd say that's four more days, if I don't take a day off. Assuming certain hours and breaks for side development, rereads, physical requirements; judging productivity averaging past week's habits...but I will take a day off, as it's Thanksgiving, and family is coming over. But I hate to just break now....I'm deep in the mix. Must take advantage of unbroken concentration. Will write a few hours early tomorrow. Rah.

How I do love bringing a character to life. How I do love it when he or she outgrows my initial sketch, or inspiration, or reference. Takes off on his own, wakes me up, wanting to run. Shows me her eyes, even when I'm not looking. And how I do love the organic, serendipitous dance that creative energy does through the filters in my fingertips. How I do love when loose ends begin connecting in that kinetic, intuitive way...four pages forward, two problems heal together. Three pages more, that problem is now a perfect device to move the story where you want it to go. And one more fresh idea is born to help you travel there.

And all with a logic that seems wiser than you could have been at the moment. As if some part of you has been reading every single line in the book at once. But that's what I was talking about yesterday. That's the "subconscious" mind, or the intuitive mind, or the autopilot part that's trained, or that is indefinable Gift. Whatever it is, it works. I guess, what I'm saying over the course of many posts is how much I love those parts of my craft that I do not feel I consciously control. Ironic, that.

Happy day to you, whatever you are doing this day, and tomorrow. Regardless of dinner choice, it's one more day to feel grateful for the gifts I have and can give, and the life that I live, and the people who share this boat with me, whilst we ride.

'night.

November 21, 2005

Book Signing for SCARY: A Book of Horrible Things for Kids, NYC - Dec 1, 2005

There will be another book signing on Dec 1, so if you are in the NYC area, feel free to drop by, buy a book, and get it signed! I'd be happy to see you.

The signing will involve myself and four other authors talking for a bit about our books, taking questions, and then signing. For times and directions, go to http://www.booksofwonder.net and click the "events and happenings...more" link.

November 18, 2005

A Girl So Beautiful She Sits Alone Every Day

Made some headway on the story, yesterday, but also spent the first half of the day continuing to round out backstory. It had to happen, as I have reached a point in the story where one major character meets another, and the Evil is explained (not in full, but in riddles, more or less). So I had to know both what was conveyed, as well as what was not. That required a trip into backstoryville. But I think I have that covered now, so I move forward again.

In other news, the cable company sent me a notice that I had now already gone through my one-year "introductory price", and now my monthly billing would increase by about ten dollars a month. I called them up promptly and told them if that was the case, they could cancel my cable TV, i don't really need it. They opted to let me continue at the "introductory" or "for those who will complain" rate. Surprising. I told them in that case, they could continue giving me service. But, as Señor Colbert says: You're on notice!

I'm off coffee today. I've spent my few days on decaf, after the week-long half-and-half experiment. Today is chamomile and honey. Sugar is the white devil. YOU WILL NOT HAVE MY SOUL, OH WICKED CANE!