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December 14, 2005

Sketches from Secret Vision.

Did some rewriting/editing on the book today. Didn't make tons of headway. Had a horrible headache for a few hours, which I finally knocked out after drinking water, getting off the computer, putting the pencil down, and lying down. Oh, and taking two advil and drinking a cup of strong coffee (vasoconstrictor).

Also, I did a bit of drawing today. It felt important. I needed to step back from the writing for a bit. I also needed to inspire my writing by making a visual or two from the story. I've been really wanting to replace the image online at Hylas Publishing and on my own sites, as well (quick temp image I made so that could take some type of image to the Fair in Frankfurt). I also want an image of Horris and Eli on the cover of the manuscript. I don't mind if they are both the same image.

After drawing them, I then think about what it will be like for Eli to actually first meet and see Horris, and I realize I should tweak some dialogue that is already laid down. It brings the very internal, mental feel of the story out into the physical world, where you can see it.

Then, I'll write for a while. and I'll edit and write until I need to see something else, and I'll start drawing it. I like being able to bounce back and forth. But actually, I think what I'm really liking is that between this edit and drawing the characters a bit, the world they live in becomes more and more fleshed out to me. And I even begin to make many notes on the next book, and the next world Eli and Nini will travel to.

I think what really came home to me was how great it was to hold a pencil again, to work with pencil. Sure, I seem to have developed the odd habit of reaching for the digital eraser (what, no Undo button?) when I take the drawing a place I deem undesirable, but that's to be expected.

Something else i like about drawing: you can sketch. Drawing is about a few things. Knowing how to see different types of light, distinctions in texture, directionality, color temperature, and how it acts on different shapes; it's about being able to make your hand do what your mind wants it to (in simple terms, when to zig, when to zag, when to curve or hold a straight trajectory); and about visualizing. Being able to see in your mind what it is you want your hand to do. Okay, drawing is also about technical knowledge; how to use your various tools, and translate the brain image and impulse from your hand to the final canvas. Well...drawing is about memory, too. You have to be able to keep a cumulative store of these lessons, unless you can always be looking at what you're drawing, and never want to add to or remove from the scene you are drawing. Yeah, scratch that last one. It's also about remembering.

But I'm talking about the visualizing part. That's very, very important. In fact, when you are drawing something you are looking at (not from your imagination, which is where the memories come into play), you spend (or should be spending) more time looking at the object you are drawing than at your own paper (the hand should mostly be doing what the mind wants, that aspect of drawing mentioned earlier. No need to stare at it constantly). And when you want your characters to do what you want, you have to first see it in your mind. What will it look like when they sit around the campfire? How will he hold his body? Will it be lax, or twisted? Will it be tense, or arched? So you sort of see the image on the page, like silver-white almost-invisible outlines that float just above the surface.

Well, I realized another thing I really like about drawing by hand, or painting by hand. When you are drawing, and you have that half-image in your mind's-eye, you help flesh it out by sketching, by dragging light outlines, even if you dont' touch the page, you move your pencil, missing the paper by only a millimeter or two. You help yourself bring the shape forth, in pieces. It's like sculpting. You chip away the nothingness from the page, gradually bringing forth what only you can see.

But with the computer, I cannot really do this. Every touch feels definite, creates a bold mark, no matter how light i have the pressure set in the pen tablet. With the computer, I can't lay out a ghostly pencil outline, I can't just reach over and shade where I want, I can't make my pencil skip and circle in broken shapes, in tiny little jagged shapes until a texture begins to weave forward, a gradation that my brain is creating from a flurry of tiny movements in my wrist; I just defocus my eyes and watch the paper, where the graduated tonality appears slowly.

Sometimes, you need to spin the paper, or move sideways when you draw. Or I do. Maybe you don't. But sometimes I need to come at the canvas from a different angle. I need to move about the space that I share with the canvas. And it helps. But with the computer, I'm stuck interfacing in a very rigid manner. If i try to turn the graphic tablet sideways, or my hand, the mouse does funny things, and I feel like someone whacked me in the head and I can't make my hand do what I want, anymore.

Don't get me wrong: the body is just another tool, just like the pen, the airbrush, the chisel, or the guitar. Aptitude does not lie in the tool. It lies in your will, your ability to focus, and your ability to understand the tool. Well, I'm sure it lies in a few other areas, too. But my point is that I do love making things on the computer, too. There are benefits on that side. But coming back to pencil for a while feels good. And I want to have different styles out there, anyway.

Anyway, I do want to get on the editing again tomorrow early. I have a trip into the city I need to make, which will take a few hours from my day. But I need to make some good headway on the edit. Soon, I will begin research on the Horris's Scary Guide to Ancient Egypt and Horris' Scary Guide to Dinosaurs. Those need to get done in a limited amount of time. Crunch. But at least we are not going to worry about moving for a few months, we decided. So that takes any distraction or pressure from that area away.

Which reminds me! I also have most of that Dinosaurs cover finished. How cool is that. I enjoy jumping around in these different but related areas. And mostly I love making stuff up. I sure am glad others enjoy it, too. Boy, am I. That means I can keep spending so much time doing it!

Back to editing, soon. I've got to give that manuscript to gail.

joaquín ramón herrera writes for children, adults, and other humans found elsewhere in the continuum of development. He is also an illustrator, musician, and surprise protagonist. If you have found his glasses, wallet, or keys, please contact him here.

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